It's Been Quite A Month

I wasn't sure if I should publicly blog about this. It's not that I don't want to talk about it or want to hide it. Well God has been at work in my life and I'm going to share about it. So here it goes:

The Thursday before Labor Day I found out I was pregnant but then just a month ago I found out I was having a miscarriage.

I was only about 8 weeks along but at an early sonogram at the doctors, they told me the baby wasn't measuring at 8 weeks but more like 6 weeks. The doctor said it could mean two things: 1) I'm not as far along as I thought or it could mean 2) the baby isn't growing and this is not a normal pregnancy or I might be having a miscarriage. Dave and I were really hoping and praying for scenario #1.

I think I was in shock when I first heard this. Lilly was also with me at this appointment. The doctor suggested I get blood work done again and another sonogram to double check things. Well I did that and then a few days later I got a call about the blood work results. I found out that my hormones are lower and it looks like this pregnancy will end in a miscarriage.

My heart sank. I was sad to think about losing a baby and scared to think about going through a miscarriage and possibly having surgery to remove the baby. Even with feeling sad and scared, I felt the Lord was near. There are so many questions of "Why?" but God is in control of all things. He's above all and in all. He gives life and takes away life.

By the grace of God, I just wanted to read my Bible and journal after I found out about the blood work results. And since then I've been hungry for more of God's Word and wanting to find comfort in verses that talk about trusting and resting in Him. I've been meditating on these verses:

Deut. 7:9

Know therefore that the LORD your god is God, the faithful God who keeps convenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.

Psalm 62:8

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.

Ps. 145:17-19

The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.

The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them.

I've also been so encouraged by the support of family, friends and our church. Everyone's prayers and sharing scripture has really blessed me. The day after I found out I was having a miscarriage, I had planned to attend a class at church about Biblical Womanhood. I was considering staying home because I was pretty emotional still and wasn't really feeling up for talking with new people I've never met. Anyway, God led me to the class and he blessed me there. At the end of the teaching we divided up into small discussion groups. At the end of that time the leader was asking for prayer requests. I spilled out to the group that I was having a miscarriage (couldn't even get the words out without crying!) and all the ladies immediately layed hands on me and prayed for me. I was so encouraged that these ladies would do that for someone they just met and they followed up with me the week later. They asked me how I was doing and said they thought of me often throughout the week and prayed for me. Thank you! That meant a lot to me.

So for about a week or so after finding out that the pregnancy was ending in a miscarriage, my body actually initiated the miscarriage and the heaviest bleeding occurred while I was at church. I felt pretty overwhelmed so I went to the ER. Dave was leading worship for the kids church service so he wasn't able to leave right away. I still had the kids with me but thankfully a friend said she'd take care of them until we were finished at the hospital. Our friends ended up keeping them through lunch and played with them for most of the afternoon. Even though being at church seemed like a bad place for the heaviest bleeding to happen, I'm sort of glad it did. Friends were there to help us and pray for us - I'm so grateful for that. So Kelly drove back to my house to get me a change of clothes and then drove me to the ER. I was fine and so was my body. I went home to finish off the miscarrying process. This lasted for about two weeks. I was to going to the doctor weekly to make sure my body and hormone levels were going back to normal (negative pregnancy test). I'm happy to say that after a month or so of these weekly doctor appointments and many sonograms, it's done.

James 1:2-4 says, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

God, I don't understand why the life that was inside of me didn't grow. Did the fetus even have a heartbeat? I probably won't know the answers to these questions until heaven, but God, you know what's on my heart. I have questions but ultimately my hope and my trust is in you. Lord, pressing into you (praying, reading your Word, being encouraged by others) during this hard time has grown my faith. Thank you for keeping me near and blessing me through family, friends, and church family.

Lilly and Mia Say Funny Things

Lilly and Mia, a photo by Cheng Family on Flickr.

Lilly

My name is Lilly and this is my baby sister Mia! - said after watching many episodes of Dora the Explorer and Diego. She said it with hand gestures too.

My mommy and daddy say McDonald's is unhealthy - said while our friends are babysitting the girls and take them through the drive-thru

Boover - Lilly thought this would be a good name for a boy.

Mia, if you don't eat a sandwich then fried rice for you!!! - Lilly giving Mia options at lunchtime. She said it like fried rice would be given as a punishment.
Puhcuter - Lilly calls the compter a "puhcuter" (pronounced puh-cute-er)
Little Tweezers - We like $5 hot-and-ready pizzas at Little Caesar's but Lilly calls it "Tweezers".


Mia

"Thank you so much!"

Oh Happy Day! Happy Day! You wash my sin away! - Mia's favorite song to sing is "Happy Day".

Hellloooooo! - The girls love listening to this song "Lazy Bones". In the middle of the song a man shouts out, "Hello!" Mia loves to shout it out too but hers is a little raspy "Helllloooo!"

Every night before we go to bed we pray together and ask the girls to say one thing they're thankful for. I love how Mia gives a thoughtful and personal answer each time. She'll say, "Uhhhh .... thank you God for ..." She loves to copy her big sister but this one time when she thinks up an original answer.

She's into saying, "I"m fast!" and she'll run from point A to point B as fast as she can.  She usually repeats this over and over again, at least 3-5 times.

Mia's picked up on Lilly's whining and complaining.  When she doesn't get what she wants or if it's not her turn right away, she'll arch her back or lean her head back and say, "Ooooh, I never."  I don't think she understands what she's saying!  Sometimes she'll say this when Lilly doesn't get her way.  She just likes to copy big sister.


*** I'll have to add more quotes when I think of them!

Claude Moore Colonial Farm

Claude Moore Colonial Farm, a photo by Cheng Family on Flickr.

This was our first school field trip of the year! We went down to Virginia for a 1771 Colonial experience. Lilly enjoyed walking around with her friends, seeing old houses, and playing games from the colonial times. She didn't like dipping the string into hot wax to make a candle or carding or spinning wool. She thought those were too hard. Plus, she was afraid of getting hurt. The people giving instructions gave warnings about the wax being so hot that it could burn you and the brushes being sharp enough to cut you. Yeah, that scared her enough to not want to do them. Oh well, it was neat to go on this field trip together. We saw what life was like in Virginia a long, long time ago. Before we went on the field trip, I showed Lilly some pictures and read the American Girl books Felicity. The stories take place in 1774.

We look forward to more school field trips this year!

Sisters Playing Together

Playing Boat, a photo by Cheng Family on Flickr.

I love to watch Lilly and Mia play together. They've been playing pretend play stuff together lately. Here's a pic of them playing "boat" together. Lilly will tie the blanket to chairs and stools and then they'll dump a bunch of stuff on top of the blanket. Lilly's sitting in the captains chair in this pic. They also play "sick" where they take care of dolls and animals. They'll also take turns being sick. One will be the sick one and the other will play the doctor. It's really cute to see and hear them talk to one another. Lilly gets what Mia's saying too.

Cut Cut Paci

We finally did it. We cut the paci and Mia is weened off the pacifier!

I wasn't sure when this day would come. I think I made the process harder than it actually needed to be. I felt sad that Mia would be losing something she loved at bedtime and something that soothed her. Getting rid of the paci was also like saying that my baby is no longer a baby. That's sometimes hard for mommas to say. But eh, she's still my baby even though she doesn't use the paci anymore!

It was funny, Mia was actually excited about cutting the paci. She kept saying, "Cut cut B!" She calls her paci or binky, B. So when I told her we were going to cut cut B she did a happy dance. Some moms had told me you can gradually cut it down, but I just decided to cut it half way down. I handed Mia her paci and she smiled and put it in her mouth. Her face quickly shifted to a confused and puzzled look. She took the paci out of her mouth and was trying to pull the mouth part out. Sadly there was a hole there now. She handed it to me and said, "Help paci." I told her it was very sad but paci is now broken.

So now at naptime and bedtime I'll try to give her the paci but she'll give it back to me and say, "No paci. Paci broken." Praise the Lord she's slept 2 naps and almost slept through 2 nights without her B. And I suppose momma's doing okay too.

***edit: Mia woke up at naptime today, startled by a loud noise. She called out for her paci and walk looking around her bed for it. :( I ended up staying in the room with her and patted her back a little. She's back to sleep now though.

p.s. - I wanted to mention what finally convinced us to ween Mia from the paci now. This past Saturday we went to the dentist and discovered that Mia has an open bite. Lilly has an overbite but Mia has an open bite. Her front teeth don't fully close down together. We think the paci might of had something to do with it.

First Time Flower Girls

Congratulations Andrew and Ling!

The two little flower girls.

Ling and Andrew's Wedding Day, a photo by Cheng Family on Flickr. (Unfortunately we were so busy that day we forgot to take a nice family picture together! I wish I would have remembered because it's pretty rare that we're all dressed up so nicely.)

Lilly and Mia had the privilege of being flower girls for their Uncle Andrew and Auntie Ling. Lilly did a great job and walked down the isle holding the ring bearer's hand. Mia was supposed to walk down with them too but she decided to follow behind mommy and daddy instead. Dave and I were both in the wedding party and were the first to walk down the isle. Mia didn't walk down at the right time but it was still really cute! You can never predict how a 2 year old (or almost 2 at the time) will do in a wedding!

Ling and Andrew were married on July 23, 2011 and it was a beautiful wedding. We are so happy for them to be married, and we're equally happy to welcome Ling into our family!

Our New House

Our house, a photo by Cheng Family on Flickr.

(pictures were taken on different days... the front of the house was taken recently and the back of the house pic was taken the day we did house inspections. Our house is actually more of a yellow color rather than white. The backyard has been GREAT for playing in this summer! We turn on the sprinkler and set up the little pool for the kids to play in.)

God has so kindly provided us this beautiful house! It has blessed our family so much this past month since we've moved in. I pray we'll use it to bless others and bring glory to God!

Dave and I want a Bible verse or something on display in our house that reminds us that God has provided this home for us. We haven't picked a verse out or done anything yet. We're open to verse suggestions and ideas!